此刻 22 (继续盗用)

No more days at Coway. Finally, I am going back to school. I don't know how to say but sometimes I really dislike my colleague and get angry because of her la. You know what she did today. She read my mail. 2 times. Not my working mailbox. My personal 1. So I just asked her why. Not yet angry. She said it just pop up on its own. Come on. Where got mail pop up on its own 1?? Nvm. That 1 sudah. Then 2nd time, she read my mail again. I was like WHY? She said IT POP UP ON ITS OWN ~~~ =.=" SPEECHLESS LAAAAAA Today I cause her to lose her keys. My bad. So draw. No more fighting!! Lucky found the key back IN MY BAG LAAAA. OMG!!! weini weini, what la you. Go steal ppl key FOR WHAT?!?!?! I miss my boss la. WTH!! She isn't around on my last day. Nvm. I will see all of them on Saturday.

Need to go back to school on SUNDAY!! +.+ Prefects need holidays also hou mou.

I guess nobody know that it was my last day. Lol. Let it be~~~~~

Anyway, went to Ah Man's shop today and found that he actually fat jor. ==. And his name on the name card is MAN CHAN. Man Chan?? Errrr. Isn't that Man Houw's bro? No. I am sure this is not that Man Chan ok.

Gonna go to Kris's BBQ for countdown!!!

Hello 2010!!!

My Birthday Calculator: 9 days from now

此刻 21 (继续盗用)

I just realised something from my working place. No. It's from my HQ. That MSN if u type (tu) a turtle will come out. Mwahahahahahahahahaha. Ok. I know it is very fei...~~~ Come on la, at least I had some fun over it.

Jay Chou is so damn cute. OMG He is looking younger and younger now. Oh no. I just love him so much la. Very hard to resist.

And 1 thing I find quite funny. You know my working MSN I don't put my name there at first. I just put my branch initial. Then a colleague in HQ waiting for reply asked:

"HELLLLLOOOOOOO!!!! ANYBODY THERE???"

I was like O great. I have got no name ~~~~

The holiday is going to an end and I will end my life @ Coway soon. Will I do great next year? I have got no idea.

Diao says Jay and Chi Ling look very match. Where got match o. Haih. Not match at all la. Chi Ling so old la. Come on. I think Chi Lin more match with Jerry. And Jay more match with Jolin. Double J ma. Although I don't like Jolin la. Diao also dislike her. Gimme 5.

Tomorrow go to work later due to some trouble. Lol. Luckily today closing not much problem like last month. Consider quite smooth. Tomorrow manager pergi KL lagi. Gonna be alone don't know what to do then. And lastly I advice Michael to change his car soon soon la. I am fear that the door will drop anytime. =.=" He said last time his Putra he go decorate until super yeng then sell to 1 don't know what guy that ngam ngam putus cinta, the girl friend came back find him and marry him just because of that super yeng car. You believe or not? I don't believe lo. Lmao!

此刻 20 (继续盗用)

Alot of people looking for Satanic Symbols? Weird......Ok, maybe it's cool. At least I think it's cool. For studies or whatever......

My Birthday Calculator: 13 days from now

此刻 19 (继续盗用)

Today is Christmas. Merry Christmas, everyone!! Especially to those who stuck overseas. To JY in Aus who is very mm song with the host culture. To Jun who will be on the plane in a few hours from now. To Penny who is in Qatar, a completely new place to her. To Teng who I think he's enjoying his life in Nagoya, Jap. And to Kris's Nazim who is in Egypt, O, so random. And off course to Kris, so that she won't be jealous. Hmm, at least I have my Santa hat on so that I won't be alone. No la. Not alone. Later hanging out with 3 C's. Christine, Christina, Catherine and Chelsea. Having conflict la. Don't know what movie to watch since alot is pulling me out for the same movie. I have no idea who to reject. And I am sure if reject my sister, you will see my body certified tonight. Choi! Touch wood. Haiya. Sien. Don't know what to do la. Sien. +.+

此刻 18 (继续盗用)

Yesterday I went to Old Town with Aunty Kim, Bachelor Chee, and a few friends. A.Kim managed to wall up 2 cup of Nan Yang Kopi-O and a glass of Lemon Tea. I, as A.Kim coffee gang only had a cup of white coffee and Lime Juice. And I kept wondering if the foreigner thought less sugar means more. WTF!! Sweet daooo. A.Kim said it tasted like syrup. +.= And then I spotted a very 帅 punya leng zai. Really super leng zai 1 man. Not cute like Dipesh, but leng zai. Really really really true true true leng zai. Too leng zai already. Cannot take my eyes of him. When he smiles, he had the same white shiny tidy teeth just like Dipesh's. My ~DREAM~ man. Lol. @.@ He really very leng zai lo. Haih. Must go Old Town more often man. Really very leng zai.......... I am freaking serious. weini, pls........~~ I know, I know, but................He very leng zai le.....

Ok. Back to my life @ Coway. Today when I go in and on all the machine, I smelled burning smell. I super scared. I go off everything. WTF! =.= Luckily, the technician come fix it and he said even if I don't off it, it will not burn me, only the machine itself. --relieved--

I wanna watch AVATAR 3D. ANDY!!! 3D now only cost RM11 la. Normal 1 RM10. WTF. I rather go watch 3D man.

My birthday calculator: 17 days from now

此刻 17 (继续盗用)

Today I kinda happy. I am allowed to go back home at 4pm. I love you, Mdm Boss. This afternoon ate lunch @ Sendonoya, the damn boss dare me to use a straw to suck all the Tomyam soup. I dare him also. But he dare me first 1. He said got customer say his food not nice. I grinned and thought of Jia Wen and her mum. Lol. He said I am a big-eater. WTF! =.=" I am NOT~!!! I didn't finish the Tomyam soup at last and he teased me. +.+ Go die! Tomorrow goes to work like normal. Hopes nobody scold me and the phone don't ring like it never ring before in its whole life. Adieu (what is that? I don't know. I see ppl write)

此刻 16 (继续盗用)

Ok. Continue. The party was boring. =.=". I wanted to sleep there but paiseh. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I got quite happy that day when working. God knows that. Michael talked bad about KL HQ SE. I damn agreed with him.

Michael: That Nick ar (my SE is Nick) is a sei ngan zai! Very annoying 1 you know. Very ma fan 1 ar. Me : O. Izit. Nick is a sei ngan zai ar? Mwahahahhahahahahahh!!!! Michael: Yala. Last time CCP (a dept with Nick as the leader) very fast 1. Now ar, wahhh, so slow ar. Haih. Me : Last time not him ar? Ya lo. He abit abit scold people 1. Psycho de. I also kena. Michael: Yala. Now just change CCP. When I go KL meeting with him ar, wahhhh, all fei hua. Better don't talk la. Stupid sei ngan zai, damn yong sui. Me : I never see him before. I don't know whether he is a sei ngan zai or not and I don't know he yong sui or not. Michael: Believe me. His eyes ar. Damn yong sui u know. Haih.

Thrilled. See. Not I say HQ admin bad only. HP also say. Lol. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Lim Jia Wen is back in Ktn and gonna go back tomorrow. Masih blur macam dahulu. Tidak berubah-ubah. Andy dan Mun Qwan masih main hide-and-seek. Also don't know what they want. Lum Man Houw masih gila-gila. Like just come out fr asylum. Tapi rambut sudah jadi gold color. Nak act Lion I guess. Jia Wen say weini masih sangat BLUR. weini very blur 1 meh? >< weini today pergi Herbal Life measure body constituent. Fat % sudah jadi berlebihan. Kerana suka makan. Lol. macam biasa. Yesterday pergi ECM actually nak bawa Andy pergi stalk Dipesh. Tapi terlupa. Haih. Salah Lim Jia Wen. Dia pergi beli toy car. Then my mum call. Andy balik. Then saya sudah lupa pergi Black Canyon stalk Dipesh. WTF. Lately, I found out that William Quah sangat leng zai 一下. Lol. Tomorrow JAY CHOU datang Malaysia. AHHHHH. Crazy! =.=

My Birthday Calculator: 19 days from now.

此刻 15 (继续盗用)

Gonna go to a party with my sis to help her out. GEEEEEEE. =.=". So gonna get bored there.

.............................................................To be continued..............

此刻 14 （继续盗用）

You say should I quit or not. I say I want to just quit and stay at home. Say bye to everybody.

此刻 13 （继续盗用）

I DID SOMETHING EXTREMELY WRONG AND I AM SUPER SCARED NOW.

此刻 12 (继续盗用)

Well. Everybody leave me alone. Penny went to Qatar. Jie Yin went to Australia. Teng Fatt went to Japan. Jun went to London. Now I feel Jia Wen actually very near KL only ma. Tan Teng Fatt didn't want to tell me when he will be leaving but I know the time I chat with him. He already left. Yeo Jie Yin cried so that her host sister will let her online to cure her everything sick. Penny online and we talked about life in Qatar. She sounds happy. Wish her luck. Jun belum online. Tak tau dia mati ke belum. And so the whole world left ALONE me enjoying this good time.

I LOVE MYSELF, DARLING

My Birthday Calculator: 24 days from now

WEINI!! EVERYBODY LOVE YOU!! GAMBATTE!! (CAT, IT'S THE CORRECT SPELLING)

此刻 11 （继续盗用）

Today I am very emo. Mood Chart: XXXXXXXX I wish I could hug cat and wet her shoulder right now. I decided to give up. Give up the nightmares that has been following me. I want to learn to let go but it is hard though. 人可以被消灭，不可以被击败

My Birthday Calculator: 29 days from now.

此刻 10 （继续盗用）

I saw Dipesh gao gay!! But he really looked very cute. Now I understand why Jun like gay lou Adam so much. Mwahahahahahahahahahah. MY BIRTHDAY CALCULATOR: 30 DAYS from now

此刻 09 (继续盗用)

I had learnt something from Mr Lum Man Houw. 1. idk = i don't know ( He said normally girls like to say that. But it seems like I am a man. 2. lmao = laugh my ass off ( Ridhwan told me this since i hate Mr Lum to ask me to be clever abit - WTF ) 3. bb - bye bye ( where got bye bye 1? bye lar! #$@*#*/# ) And so I realised that many people actually don't understand what I say in my blog. Lol. Alot complaint. Including Lim Jia Wen, Teng Fatt, Allan, Andy I think (know it from Jun) and Lum Man Houw. Jun said teng even read my post twice patiently but he still didn't have a single idea about it. I think it is so damn funny. WTF. =.=" Luckily Jun and JY understand. They even think it is like a comedy!! WTF! Jun said everytime she sees me, she like watching comedy. Good what like that. Don't need pay money to watch Stephen Chow le. And Diao has become the protagonist in my blog recently. I hope she is still in the future. Lol. Tomorrow have to work again. Oya. Today I saw Gary. I waved to him damn "vigorously" but he didn't see me. Maybe because he didn't put on his spec. It's ok. Next time I will make him a huge good banner. So he can see me!! And.... wave back!

MY BIRTHDAY CALCULATOR: 33 DAYS from now What do you do? * Wish me on time like I never had birthday before. * Keep me entertained 3 days before and after my birthday. * Ask me out since it is a Saturday and make sure I have fun. * Do not prank me! * Prepare a present for me if you want to (optional) * Choose my birthday cake meticulously as I am very select. (it is good to have 'non-greasy cake' and no butter cream, fresh cream pls) * Do not say I am old.

此刻 08 (继续盗用)

听着怪异的 alternative 撰写部落格，有一种令人回味的感觉。 不是回味音乐，alternative 根本不是我的茶，而是回味作家的格子。 爬格子的生活，如果你说到了顶端总有一天要往下爬，那么我说格子并不是高而已，它还很阔。 如果你说沙漠的尽头是一片海，那么我说海的尽头是一块沙漠。 王译说艺术家就像个小丑，丑化自己博君一笑，但是背后多心酸，多痛苦，永远没有人知道。 在你面前耍宝，回到后台又是一个孤独的自己，心酸的人生。 我觉得贺军翔有一点这样的象征，在背后好象有好多不为人知的心酸史。 那些能做到的，根本不用太多華麗的前奏來鋪張。

此刻 07 （继续盗用〕

Walao. 跟那些kiwi讲话一时真的会死lo. 你懂为什么我写华文没有？ 因为那些纽西兰的人会看英文ma. 不是我要排斥他们，但是真的一时无法忍受。 其实，他们是几friendly的la. 但是，一时他们真的有一点烦叻！！ 他们偏偏在我最忙，最火的时候烦我。 结果，我从来不睬他们的lo. 如果有一点时间，他们say hey, 我就 say hey lo. Then, what also tak ada liao. Lol. Sometimes ar, mereka suka cakap language negara mereka. Then saya pun sudah rasa sien liao lo. Mereka rasa sangat happy cakap bahasa kiwi dia yg saya tak faham langsung. Mereka panggil saya guess apa mereka cakap. Walao. Funny daooooo. Dia ingat saya sangat free pergi teka apa dia cakap ar. Saya terus X chatbox, buat kerja sendiri. Saya betul betul tak boleh tahan la. Tapi, ada one thing boleh puji mereka punya. Kalau saya letak busy ar, dia tak akan datang kacau punya. Kalau Malaysian ar, mereka tak kisah punya, terus double click kamu, nudge kamu walaupun kamu tak akan rasa. Tapi, saya pun rasa saya jahat la. So sombong, tak nak choi ppl. Haih. Cat belum baca saya punya msg la. Sien betul. Tak tau mengapa. Tiba-tiba rasa dah sampai masa saya slow down dan berehat. Selamat tinggal.

此颏 06 （继续盗用）

Under Renovation

此刻 05 ( 继续盗用 )

为什么恋爱中的女人总被冲昏了头？ 嗨！真令人百思莫解。 但是，有一些人的恋爱确实让我敬佩。 你应该懂我再说谁吧！ 能够在恋爱中保持理智现实，才是让烟火继续燃烧的火种。 我其实希望我文章中的主角能够等到那一天。 你知道哪一天，对吧！

此刻 04 ( 继续盗用 ) - 令我动容的此刻

> 24 & 255; return this.FONTMAP.substring(2 * (id - 1), 2 * id); }" size="4">思念

Remembrance 刘轩

之前认识一个朋友，某天看他穿着背心，发现胳臂上刺了一个年轻女生的脸。

那看起来不像他老婆，想必是某前女友。我想，还是别问，何况谁没在年少轻狂的时候，因为热恋做出一些傻事？听说用镭射洗刺青既贵又痛。

后来，我才知道原来那是他好几年前在空难中去世的姊姊。她曾是空姐，飞机坠在澎湖外海，没人幸免。

从此之后，我对那位朋友的感觉彻底改变。以前都觉得他是个乐天型的小伙子，最爱在夜店找人拼酒，但每次看他穿着衬衫，都忍不住想到那底下藏了个秘密。他的思念，以青色的墨水在身上画下一层淡淡的忧伤。

我们身体布满着生命的烙印，有些刻意、有些无意，但每个都是回忆。瞧，我下巴有一条疤痕，正是二年级追女生的后果。为了耍帅，我爬上高班的滑梯，还半途站了起来，才刚说「看我！」就劈里啪啦滚了下去，醒过来在医疗室。

瞧，奶奶曾经说，在房间拉起上衣，给我看她下腹的那道伤痕：你爸爸就是这么出来的。

我曾经用手碰过那微凸、白色的刀疤。奶奶痛吗？当年一定痛死了！难怪爸爸对你那么孝顺。

奶奶常提起自己的爸爸，我的曾外祖父。他长年出差，每次回家不仅带着「天津狗不理包子」和熟嫩的柿子，见到女儿被缠小脚就怒斥：「放了它！」曾外祖母没的辩，把奶奶的脚解开泡在盐水里复原，丈夫一出门，又立刻捆上。所以奶奶少女时最盼望的就是爸爸回家。

她们那一代的女人真苦，先是抗战，接着内战，自己从北京逃到重庆，再到台湾，好不容易和爷爷团聚，不过几年，爷爷就病逝了。我小时候陪她跪在床边祷 告，最常听她暗地自语的就是「主啊，快点把我接回去！」我则一旁默默念着：「主啊，不要听她的，让奶奶多活几年！」抬头看着爷爷的照片，戴着小圆框眼镜， 一脸斯文，好像爸爸。

老爸也对爷爷充满思念。爷爷给他买大块的巧克力，吃稀饭时总是给他装满满的一碗肉松。爷爷常带爸爸钓鱼，把他往自行车上面的小藤椅一放，一手执钓竿 ，一手骑车。河边的姜花送来淡淡的幽香，蓝色的月光闪在水面的波纹之间。这些全是老爸九岁之前的回忆，但后来也成了我的回忆，因为好几次在老爸的文章里读 到这个场景，每次都描述得特别唯美，让我这个小孩子也开始思念起「老台北的淡水河」。

那时，我们已经搬到美国，离家不远有个小湖，我和老爸经常去哪里跑步，一边跑一边考试。老爸指着水面：怎么形容？「波光粼粼。」指着岸边的柳树, 「柳展宫眉。」好，桃花源记，开始背！「Oh, NO!」老爸严肃地说：「不要忘了你的根！」但有一天他突然停下来，指着水边兴奋地说：「姜花！还有野百合！」我还在喘，只见他大步大步踩入草丛，弯下腰 消失了片刻，又猛地站起来，挥着双手快步奔向我：「跑！跑！」这时我才看见他头上围了一群黑黑的东西。我们两人死命跑了几百公尺，停下来时还有马蜂缠在头 发里，被螫到的地方让我疼了一整夜。但我很开心，因为老爸常提起的姜花，现在也成为我少年生动的记忆。

我很幸运，半生平平顺顺，不像身边的许多长辈和朋友一样失去过亲人，甚至失去过家乡。我的思念总是个美好的选择，像那些印象派画家笔下雾蒙蒙、粉嫩 嫩的意境一般。身边的人都有好多的思念，而我呢？最显明的就是八岁离开台湾时，最后一天在小学操场看到的火红晚霞。即使到现在，我还是很爱看晚霞。

20岁那年，有一天妈妈突然告诉我：「你知道爸爸不是奶奶生的吗？」

我突然觉得世界颠倒了过来。不，我不知道原来爸爸是「过继」到刘家的。不，我不知道当时他才三岁，身体不好，父亲又重病，当时刘家爷爷在银行工作，有能力照顾，而且刘家奶奶无法生育，于是接养爸爸成为他们的独子。

至于奶奶肚子上的疤痕，其实是当年开刀切除子宫留下的。

刘家爷爷去世之后，老爸的亲兄弟曾经来找他。当时老爸才十六七岁。奶奶哭着告诉他：「你走，就不要回头。你留下来，就当刘家人。」

老爸选择留下来，而且直到奶奶去世，都没有明着跟亲生的家庭来往。

奶奶2000年去世了，享年93岁。随之我才终于见到另一边的亲戚们。原来老爸有五个哥哥，全在美国，孩子也都像我一样在美国长大。我突然身边多了 好几个ABC表兄弟姊妹，大家来到纽约团聚。那次我拍了很多照片，始终无法把一生积累的记忆与眼前的景象对在一起。有一张合照是老爸和几个哥哥并排搭着 肩，他们长得还真像。

几年后，我在台湾随着二伯到阳明山上，把姚家亲生爷爷的骨灰请出来，准备从台湾送到美国西岸，与我的亲生奶奶合葬。我代表父亲向一辈子没见过的爷爷鞠躬行礼。二伯对着骨灰坛说：「爸爸，我来接你去美国住了，哪里很好…」说着就哽咽了。

至于把老爸养大，也看我一路进入大学的奶奶呢？她葬在纽约，在一个离家不远的墓园，左邻右舍是意大利人和韩国人。她这一辈子思念的北京老家，生前爸 爸曾带她回去过。她思念多年的丈夫，老爸也曾带她上坟。但是最后奶奶告诉爸爸：「还是睡在美国吧！住到深坑的山上多冷！要看看你们，还得坐飞机。」

我现在真想对她说：「奶奶啊！纽约可比台北冷多了！」上次旧历年回去看她，墓园冰天雪地，坟前的土硬得插不了花。我回到台湾多年，已经不习惯美国东北的天气，猛发抖，老爸看见了，急着对我说：「行个礼，赶快回车上去！」

今年清明节，我骑着自行车爬上六张犁的山坡，途中买了两束鲜花，找到刘家爷爷的坟，细细地打扫了一遍，插上花，鞠了三个躬，说：「爷爷啊，现在只有你我住在台湾了。我想跟你说，奶奶很好，她一直都很想你，但我相信你们应该已经在天上团聚了…」

我去哪里的目的很简单：我在思念。身为第三代外省人、第二代台湾人、第一代美国移民，我虽然在和平中长大，在国际都市间穿梭自如，但直到最近才发 现，我继承了好多大江大海的历史、好多人的理想和期望。思念是不需要亲身经历的，也不一定要疼痛或失去才能衬托它的意义。它其实是个选择，对任何我们赋有 情感的人、事、地、灵，献上一点内心的感激。

公交车载着扫墓的民众不时从邻近的路边驶过。我坐在坟边的松树底下，心里却很平静，想着纽约、想着父母和妹妹、想着奶奶、想着床边爷爷的照片，也想着在长满了姜花的淡水河畔跟着爷爷一起钓鱼－－虽从来不曾体验过，却成为我记忆中挥之不去的思念

（本文摘至刘轩腾讯）

此刻 03 ( 继续盗用 )

Today 4 of us went out together for the 1 LAST TIME. When I say 4 of us, you should know the poem 4, me, jy, jun and penny. Kinda sad la. Haih. Why everybody leaving? Nobody can answer me. Then I send her to Megamall as an ending of our XX (don't know what to say). She wanted to hunt for her Jeans jacket to Qatar. I met Ah Wai who keep asking me to try on their free test lens. Rest for AD. # Hollywood and Focus World # having 1 DAY ACUVUE free trial. You just need to fill in an easy form telling what are the current lens you using and get 1 pair free Johnson & Johnson's 1 day acuvue lens. AD over. Continue my story. Actually 1 of my aim was to find Ah Man. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! So many girls surrounding him lar. WTF. Got 正经事 want to tell him lar. WTH lar! When finally no customer, he went out for lunch liao!! ISHHHHHHHHH!! What lar! Next time have to call him and threaten him first. Anyway, he is gonna be my....................................XXXXXXXXX. NEIGHBOUR!!!! He is gonna live near Lim Jia Wen there. Ok. CNY I go fan all of them. But for what? No ang pau also. I think they sure come to my house 1 lor. Because my mum give ang pau ma. WTF! I lock my gate with super lock man. Ok la. At least we can have Cabernet fiesta at my house!!! Hooray!!! Throw Merlot and hug CABERNET!!! Don't want la. Later I have to carry all of them back. And I don't want them to vomit all around my house. Don't know la. I admit wine is not really nice. But they simply have draw. Strong draw. I can't resist the draw la. But I just drink during CNY la or maybe special ocassion. Ok. Ms Penny is leaving this Sunday for Qatar petroleum prince. I just hope when she come back she don't wear tudung! Lol. Hope everything is fine. Today's mood chart : A big nice tick!!

此刻 02 ( 再次盗用 )

今天心情有点低落，只因为一些琐碎事。 这低落的心情让我想了很久，很多。 哈，我就是这副老样子，容易被周围的小变化影响。 就算事过境迁，沧海桑田，我还保留我内心最根深蒂固的一部分。 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 从前，有人问我，难道我不后悔失去了童年？ 我悻悻然地答不。现在可后悔莫及了。 当时间与我脚步之间的竞争力越强，我越想裹足不前，至少三步并一步。 走在时间约前端，我越发现我跟不上拿不稳的步伐。 正当发现之际，心里不禁颤抖一下。 原来，我还没准备好失去童年，跨一步大步的，勇往直前。 但是，此时追悔莫及，唯有独自咽下这股怨气。 幸好，现在正当青春之际，虽然不至于年少轻狂，至少曾经风靡。 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 我曾经以为我能够解放对自己设下的圈套，但是原来只是自圆其说。 只要一遇到挫折，挫折感在心中扎下根，久久不能自己。 原来我可以变得那么脆弱。或许我原来就是。 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 又看到赵家心酸的样子，一种说不清的感觉油然而生。 泪水有冲动的欲望，但能够悬崖勒马。 不知道是悲痛抑或怜悯。 只是一种开不了口的感觉。 细腻的心到底是好抑或坏。问苍天无语。 你说，我是否又像从前一样把自己关在一个不见天日的笼子？ 我也不晓得何时开始，变得如此。 其实，我觉得我是在逃避着残酷的现实。 因为我不敢面对，因为我不想再跌到，因为我不想再被捅一刀。 在伤疤上撒盐，你说，什么感觉？ 一个我想都不敢的感觉。 本来我认为我至少有一个倾诉的对象，但是如今他也走了，我该如何是好？ 我常常扪心自问，为何身边的人总要离我远去？ 或许，人生就如一个地铁站，到站了自然要下车转站。 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 我在想，今天我如此垂头丧气，下一次该会怎么样？ 如果今天我没有部落格，那明天得我心在何处？ 我对人真地开不了口，我也不晓得为什么。 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 我喜欢深夜的夜深人静，因为我恨不得把人类丑陋的面具剥下，但又能如何。 我有时甚至觉得自己也很丑陋，无法面对自己的所作所为。 我曾经看到朋友给自己的励志留言， “There is always obstacles, we either fight it or surrender!" 但是现在我不要投降也不要面对，那你告诉我，我该怎么办？ 有时我想，人总是如此贪婪，在生命中想要更多的选择，但却琳琅满目，毫无头绪。 如果我只有两条路选，我已经选择了放弃。 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 我曾经看过一本令我产生共鸣的书。 郭福城写的 《迷途的羔羊》。 他的名字像郭富城一样轰动，但一生却在牢狱里度过，说出来不见得光彩。 但我发现我已慢慢忘记它的内容。 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 或许，在外看来，我比任何人来的坚强，勇敢。 但是，原来内心的自己不及过街老鼠。 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 从前，有人告诉我，每晚要反思自己做过的事，我当时不明白。 但是，我现在似乎每晚都深深的反思，发现人的空虚。 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 我偶尔想静下来写生、爬格子，但都幻灭。 人生离不开责任，就是因为责任，我背负人生最沉重的债。 有时我又想记忆好是好是坏。我总是不能忘记往事。 往事被锁在潜意识的磁碟中，不时在脑海里剪辑。 抑或我想太多？ 脑海中的一百零一个问号没有一天能石沉大海。 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 今天，我有在我心情表上画了个大叉。

此刻 01 ( 盗用一下 )

Today I went to ECM for lunch. Actually because I am dumped. That's why ECM. Heading to Laksa Shack then suddenly saw Ms Diao and Krissy with Chelsea and Vagina Lim. Went into sit thought want to tag along. Look at the menu and feel weird why all pizza? Then realise it is not Laksa Shack. It is Pizza Hut. I quickly went out and go beside. I ended up da bao ing KFC. WTF!! Then I went to Carrefour to search Amy's hubby favourite blah. Can't find it. Went to Samuel and Kevin because having mega sales. Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahah. Shopping time!!!! Then saw Ah Seng without CK. Ah Seng keeps smiling so no choice. I have to smile back. After I sao gong go ECM with family at night Ah Seng still smiling man. Walao. Mouth not numb 1. Then pass by Hollywood when heading to Door D back to office. Saw Ah Man in T shirt. He off. Walao. Damn man lo. Man daooooo. + abit sexy. Lol. I very suey 1 le. Ignore people. Lol. Then Ms Diao scolded me. =.= Diao scolded me for not opening a facebook acc. =.= so cham. Like that also kena? WTF Ok la, Diao. Depends on my mood and your luck la Goodnight. Tomorrow still need to work but Mr Leong is coming to pick me up for lunch. Looking forward to see what has become of him.

Today I went to watch 2012 with Jun. And I think I was ALMOST like a trouble maker. Not yet a trouble maker. Ok. We bought 11.55am tickets. We were there by 11am. Jun bought an ice-cream at BR as her brunch. Then I pulled her to accompany me see shoes and clothes. We were abit late plus we were lining up to buy food. We went into the theatre but the light was already off. And Jun who was very semangat to watch the ad blame me. It was really dark and I forget to wear spec. I can't see. Jun just shouted. We sit here. Here!! I stupidly reply Jun. Here? I can't see. Got human de ma? Then Jun on her HP light and I saw a big good guy sitting right there staring at us like we came from Venus. We quickly sit down and Jun thought still got ad. Mana tahu. Movie start liao. Lol. We were watching and we were laughing like hell although everyone else just shut up and seriously watching the movie. At the end, when the light was on, Jun didn't want to go first. We were sitting down listening to Adam Lambert's Time for Miracle. Then the guy beside me wanted to go out. He stood up half way then sat down again. Figuring why on earth was this 2 crazy women still sitting down here blocking his god damn way. We went out until the cinema men chase us out. And we 2 chilled like hell. Then on our way back, GUESS WHO I SPOTTED? I saw Ryan Chong. In his black round neck AGAIN. I started to believe what CWX said. That he ONLY has black tops. He didn't look extra good in it and I as a person that has a little bit sense of art kindly recommend him to change his colour because black is totally not a colour that can outstand his personality. My dekstop is dead again but luckily 2 lappies are back. Miss my dekstop. I am gonna hunt for shoes again. Mwahahaahahhahahahaah. On shoes' craze. And I am really interested to talk to Diao. DIAO!! Pergi tengok Ah Lang 此刻 31.

Where am I now?

I am at office. Lol.

Working. But too boring.

Lol.

Numbed

Exam is finish. Ya. And I regretted. I regretted not to study hard. Lol. So lazy man. Can terus go sleep if I want to and just go exam without touching books. Damn. I really did not study Bio this time. That's why I am dead. But now regret also useless. Already get the 烂 到 够 厉 punya marks. Got tips also cannot do. Haih. Totally hopeless ar. The more exam I take, the more I think I am more talented in art and the more I think I should be in the art field. WTF!! I am not saying that I failed in Science subject or what. Boleh tahan la but it is just that I think I can be even better if I am in Art. Sort of like heavier on the art side. I got no problems on calculations but theory is just sickening. But I don't think I will give up for now. Off course not la. If you know me, you know my EQ level. Lol. Off course. I think I can excel de lo if I can be not lazy. Quite hard i know. But I really look up on Yi Chien. Really. Don't know la. Just that sometimes I also feel what Boon is feeling. I understand. Sometimes we are just out of choices. Soon, Boon is going to America and Cat will be forever bye. But I will force Boon to bring us out. HAHAHHAHAHAHA. The day in this school that days after days gets crazier and crazier will be dull and monotonous. I don't know what had become of my school. I used to love my school. The Gardens, the plants, the scenery. I used to. But now. I don't know how to express my feeling. I don't know what is inside the admin's mind? Destroying the ever beautiful natural view of ours. Teachers getting weirder and weirder. Students getting lazier and lazier. People that annoyed me last time annoyed me even more now. People that I like last time, I become expressionless to them. It is my doom day is coming. Mine. Not the Earth. So sad. Certain people take charge of the things. Things become worse and ugly. But they thought it is still the same, still beautiful. But for me. Everything has changed. Everything changed since Roiga leaves us. The time, the place, the view, the people and me. I think I should hope for something I don't know what to hope for. See. Hopeless. Day after day. I am getting more and more disappointed with my own school and people and myself. What can you do to help me. I know you can't help. It is my own war in my heart. I have to face it alone fight it until I win.

当 初 我 不 回 首 为 什 么 不 回 首 不 是 不 想 回 首 而 是 身 不 由 己

"こんにちは、私は次のZhijiaoに呼び出し、今ファイナルファンタジー15メインキャラクター"ロングZhanの騎士"ありがとうです！" Another short message from my hubby, Jay at Ah Lang's wretch. I can read but I don't know what is the meaning. But it is ok. I will ask Aoi for help. Mwahahahahahahahahaa!!!

周 杰 伦 @黄 俊 郎 无 名 小 站

• • Name： 屌人
  • Subject：untitled
  • Time：2009-10-30 00:54:27
  • Message：沒 想到你還每封都回啊 真不簡單 今天又看了你的文章 只能說你音樂又挑對了 哈哈 我在這邊快無聊死了 現在在寫新的劇本 你最好別跟我說你不想演 對了 音樂放多首一點好讓我選擇一下 馬的 剛看到你學弟留言給你提到法商打球 我記得有一次還跟跟紅和你ㄧ塊去 這真的是超久以前的事了 有時候真想回到之前的生活 馬的 要不是要養那麼多人(包括華人版圖) 不然也不用那麼辛苦 你最好也能撐起一片天 這樣大家就可以沒負擔的先放下身邊的工作 好好再去打個球 出個國 幫文山把風拿鐵牌了 哈哈
• • Reply：這... 這不會是華人地區，不，是只要有空氣的地方，就有他的名字、號稱東方流行音樂界第一人的天才吧（僅止於音樂、我再三強調）！他...他竟然來我這邊留言 了，天啊！這是做夢嗎？這..這是真的嗎？是我做了什麼壞事、不、打錯了，是積陰德的事，所以被老天爺處罰嗎？啊，不，是青睞，又打錯了 啊不是叫你不要再養了嗎？讓大家變得肥肥胖胖得然後得到口蹄疫是要幹嘛！ 啥咪！新的劇本，拜託，新的demo就算了，新的劇本，不要再這樣了，我片酬真的太高，不想連累你。而且，也到了挑劇本的level了（level，指層次，水準，怕你不熟，先解釋一下，啊！對了，忘了你已經在美國很久了，可能比我厲害了，應該會音標了） 不過，還是不要太累比較好，偶爾休息沈澱一下，一直被拴緊的發條（不是那個王八蛋），會疲乏而斷裂的，為了我的未來著想，我真的希望你過的快樂輕鬆些，沒 有人會希望搖錢樹生病倒下的，大家都嘛希望慢慢的吸血，每天從它身上吸一些吸一些，最好能吸一輩子，話說回來，原來搞半天你是一隻母牛啊！ 你demo到底什麼時候好呢？這是我最在乎的事，啊，不是因為在乎你啦，是因為錢比較多，只是這樣而已，希望你別太往自己臉上貼金 呼，話說你又不是女的，我為什麼要回這麼多啊，真是莫名其妙，我知道你在那很無聊，所以我已經空投發條過去了，相信他會讓你每天都睡得充實而色情的 無聊到竟然在美國看我網誌，看來真是無聊到瘋了，不過我回了這麼多，我看我他媽的比你更無聊 晚安，愛你（對不起，開玩笑的，我吐了）

• • Name： 屌人
  • Subject：untitled
  • Time：2009-11-07 10:23:55
  • Message：我 只能說真的太好笑了 選在你的無名留言是因為.....冷門 沒想到還是被報出來 算了 這樣也好 往好的方面想說不定路過的人順便或不小心看到了你的文章 可能會去買你的書吧 因為.....同情你 你的文章就像某些電影 看不懂的永遠最美 就像文山的詞 只要你解釋的出來 那就是藝術 我知道你是藝術家 也知道你剛好也會寫詞 但請以後寫歸寫 歌名留給別人想好嗎 誰聽的懂cindy（很旅行的愛情）這是什麼啦 別人已經有（旅行的意義）了 （馬德里不思議）也ㄧ樣 不思議什麼啦 別因為一個歌名把自己的詞毀了....乖
• • Reply：哈哈哈，我真的不知道你是不是杰倫，因為這裡太多人用這名字了 如果你是，那麼，等你回來你會頭很大，因為一定會上新聞 如果你不是，那麼，新聞記者一定會頭很大，因為又寫錯了報導 如果你是又不是，那麼我會頭很大

• • Name： 屌人
  • Subject：untitled
  • Time：2009-11-01 23:37:34
  • Message：我 說兩年前說過上你無名主要是聽音樂 至少你對於放在你無名裡的背景音樂都有挑過 用來騙騙那些上你無名看文章看不出端倪但心又似有感觸 這種種都是音樂起的作用 很好 你長大了 回我的留言比你網誌的文章成熟許多 不加思索的提筆不須任何點綴完全能了解你非常佩服我這棵植物 也就是你所謂的搖錢樹 基於你這麼相信我的天分能在今年把歌寫完 我就真的給你寫一首主打歌歌詞好了 不過demo在那位覺得自己跟年輕人打成ㄧ片的方先生手中 我想他手中我的歌都丟了吧 只剩下演講稿 希望在他沉迷於演講的這段時間 你能把我demo從他抽屜偷出來 對你來說應該很簡單 因為你常偷我冰箱的東西 除了這點你很高明 另外原因就是 因為他辦公室就在你隔壁........希望你得手之後別辜負我對你的期望 你的期望....其實也還好啦 我不太要求的 你知道的 連牛仔很忙我都敢用了 是吧 對了 最後告訴你 戲你還是得演
• • Reply：我親愛的，你比以前更幽默了也更聰明了，連侮辱人卻不帶髒字、咒罵對方卻像是親吻的高難度技巧...你都會了，那是一種智慧啊 然而你硬要堅持部落格的音樂比我充滿睿智的文字還要好一百倍這一點，我就明白終究，我們是不可能在一起一輩子的，就像水母跟仙人掌永遠無法理解對方的存在 意義與方式一樣，所以我悲傷的明白，我們不可能相愛一輩子，儘管那如此激情而動人、讓人無法自己，但也只能是激情的、平凡而深邃的愛、一輩子的承諾、在我 們之間只是傳說而已 然而我仍是愛你的，你應該明白，看著你展翅高飛、看著你流下辛苦的汗水、看看著你冒著身體的不適繼續前進著，在一旁的我、是充滿愉悅而歡欣的，這一切只因為....大家又有錢拿了 由於你莫名其妙的、不，打錯了、溫柔的造訪，將這優美的伊甸園吹皺了一池春水，帶來了不切實際、不、又打錯了，帶來了履舄交错的人氣與留言，於是，我做了 一個決定，一個為了你的決定，就是把那些留言都刪了。這個決定、你、跟那些為了你而留言的人，我希望都能了解，我這是出於愛、出於無微不至體貼，才出此上 策，因為只有我明白，以你的耐心，以前面那麼多的留言，你、是絕對沒有耐心翻到第三頁以後的，我知道遠方的你是如此急著與我通信、急著想看見我充滿愛的回 應，而你又翻不到第三頁以後，我們就可能因此在茫茫言海裡擦身而過、帶著遺憾、悲傷、與不捨 我怕你難過與失望，於是我舉起了屠刀、將阻擋在我們愛情之間的煩瑣徹底消滅，只為了你，只為了看見你 然而，在乎他們的你，我知道你是想知道留言的，因為你在乎他們，於是，我也決定把那些所有的內容，都打出來給你知道 他們的留言、很多也很複雜、甚至龐大，但我仍不辭辛勞通通原封不動打了出來，內容如下: 倫，我愛你 是的，這就是全部，我打得好累 然後，你不會以為我真的可以去偷文山的東西吧！偷你冰箱的東西頂多是拉肚子，偷他的demo可是會丟飯碗的大事，請你不要那麼單純好嗎？我真的很想罵髒 話，如果你愛我，就請真心的對我，真心的將適合我的禮物、用你厚實的雙手交給我，因為，我會為此開心好幾個晚上、像個初戀的小男孩似的（對不起，我不爭氣 的、又吐了，真是沒用） 最後，我領悟了一個偉大的真相，就是，原來我們之所以如此深愛著對方、不能沒有對方，都是因為.....我們真的太無聊了 早安，吾愛

我 爱 周 杰 伦！！！！

Ah Long and Prostitude

See. I seldom read my mail unless the title caught my attention. One mail caught my attention today. The title reads:" LIM LIANG SIANG is waiting for you." A bit shock. Lol. How come lim liang siang is waiting for me? Why must he wait for me? Then I see who is the sender. It is Flixter. So it is just fine for him to wait for me. Why this kind of stupid things like to attract user's attention by putting some extravagant sentence? I also don't know. My this Flixter is not "copyright" 1. I did not create it. Someone did. Someone I don't know who. I remember last time someone told me something extravagant too.

He said: "Do you ever think Ah Long is very bad? Actually they are quite cham too. Because people borrow their money and don't pay them back. How about prostitude? Actually they are happy to be one. I asked them before. They like their job!"

I believe him last time. But now when I think about it. I think it is totally nonsense. If Ah Long so cham. Don't be la. Then you won't need to borrow people money and nobody would not pay you back money. And where got women like to become prostitude 1. If they really like. Then sorry la. Everytime I look at them will be a kind of disgusted, annoyed and lowly look. You like ar. By the time a really elegant woman look at them I think they would cry man. Serious. They like their job like how? Like the money or the sex? Stupid betul. If need money, you cannot judge like they like money then they like their job. Not related. A bank manager can earn alot of money. But nobody can make sure that they really like their job. If they like sex. Then correct la. Half correct. They like their job. But not as prostitude only can have sex 1 right. Many other ways 1 le. Ask Cat to tell you. Or maybe killing 2 birds with a stone. Want both money and sex. Then lagi not the right way la. You know why. Because they can't be just focus on quantity and not quality. If you are a charming enough woman then I think you can get quality. Charming as in elegant, high class, good job, arrogant, branded. Then you can enjoy both money and sex with quality and quantity.

See, I can prove you that my saying is right!1 If I see him now and he is asking me the same question, I will tell him that he is LOST!!!! Or maybe he is 1 Ah Long and he feels cham. Who knows? Lol.

Prefects-Librarians Hi-tea just ended. I think it is the worst year. Thank you very much which I am 1 of the organisers. I don't think it is my fault anyway. I am just in-charge of the programme following teachers' and Head Girl's instructions. I did my part.

I think the food is sucks or maybe I am too choosy. I think the MS Garden management not very good too. You know what they did. They change our menu without informing us. Thanks very much. And only put 8 chairs for a table that is suppose to be 10. But the point is our Head Girl has paid the deposit and all the money. She complained but I don't think we can get any compensation. Let me ask you. Will you return me money if I already give you the right amount which is suppose to be right?

I have been to Prefects Function for 3 years and this is the 4th. I have never seen people cramping up the hall lining up to register. This is the 1st year lo. Like traffic jam and teachers are shouting at teachers so that they can go in the ballroom together. Too funny to be funny. And we have 1 computer-programmed emcee. She talks like a programmed robot. It is just that her limbs still move naturally.

Gift-exchange is a custom for Prefects. I got a small tiny adorable phone accessories. Although it is not expensive and not too pretty I like it. I like it because I think this person is sincere enough. I like the hand-made little box with the nice wrapper and a purple ribbon. It is really small but I like it. I usually recycle all those gifts for the coming year but i don't think I am gonna recycle this. Actually I don't like something expensive given unsincerely. I like something that is given out of sincere cheap or expensive. And now I got 1. I have nothing to ask for, for my birthday because normally when I see something I like esp shoes, I will buy them. I just hope gifts from anybody is a sincere wish to this special girl.

Anyway, my Head-Girl complained that the PA man bias. Don't like her, like me. I think it is not bad a news. But I didn't realise lo. Because I was not talking to him at all. I am just standing among the 4. Lol. Anyway, I am quite pleased.

JUN!!!! Jay Chou play CELLO!!! Super NICCCCEEEEE le....

期 待 已 久－ 周 杰 伦

周 杰 伦＋ 袁 咏 琳 画 沙

I like Cindy's voice though.

沒 有 杰 倫 的 冬 天

我 老 公 做 善 事 不 必 街 知 巷 闻！ 杰 伦 sponsor 三 个 残 疾 人 士 到 海 外 参 加 比 赛 不 忍 他 人 音 乐 才 华 永 远 没 有 天 日 自 掏 腰 包 伸 出 援 手 不 计 较 名 利 不 管 媒 体 懂 不 懂 最 好 他 们 不 懂 又 再 助 养 300 名 学 童 助 养 每 名 一 个 月 600 元 为 期 五 年 人 做 天 王 他 做 天 王 果 然 比 别 人 吊 比 别 人 更 帅 比 别 人 可 爱 比 别 人 善 良 这 让 我 超 感 动 超 想 念 他 不 知 还 要 等 多 久 但 是， 苏 乞 儿 即 将 上 映 唯 有 借 此 望 梅 止 渴 虽 然 还 很 渴 公 众 人 士 做 到 好 似 杰 伦 果 然 没 话 说！ He is worthy for my love and admiration!! Ah Diao Ah Ni 支 持 杰 伦 不 遗 余 力

"Our own forensic ex-pet,

said she only follow instructions from MACC and PDRM

when doing her investigations,

took samples only from spots given by MACC/PDRM,

and she was told not to investigate based on the ground of suicide and not on homicide…

Malaysai Boleh….!!!"

Adapted from a comment in Susan Loone's blog

Feel very ironic about Teoh Beng Hock's death after all.

Do not know what had happened and do not want to know

although I am interested and curious about it.

However, every time I am reminded about him

I feel a twitch in my stomach.

The unspoken feeling of a mixture of empathy and disgust.

What's more I saw his picture at the "suicide" spot

that his limbs and body are distorted and

his clothes are torn with numbering

on several parts of the spot.

I don't want to look at it but I was attracted.

It crossed over my mind that he was picked up

and thrown down when he was still alive

but unconscious

because the one who bitten him unconscious

thought that he had died.

Anyway, I do not like to further comment on this case.

I hope the next time I am attracted to the prime news

is a piece of news that has a jolt in my heart.

I hope that everything will go just very fine.

Good luck everybody.

Think before you act!

Allergy+ing. Very kesian. I read Sin Chew zodiac prediction everyday. See what I got today. "该 好 好 收 拾 一 下 心 情 做 正 经 事， 不 要 再 玩 了。" It said I better get ready to do more right things instead of continue playing. Too true. I was playing all the while and not concentrating in studies. What's more final exam is around the corner. I am going to put my foot forward. I hate to not get things I want!

I had an unlucky day. Firstly, Dutch Lady milk at ECM finished already. Secondly, CK broke my brother's Hoya REMARK 1.6 B lens into half. Thirdly, I went into Nose and saw a person that i don't want to meet at all. He was following me all the way. So I ran into Ah Man's shop to hide. Luckily, I didn't grab any shoes to try, or I will found out tomorrow that a pair of shoes and ice-cream cake are delivered to me. Fourthly, when I was hiding at Ah Man's optical shop, I found out that he not that man anymore!! Fifthly, I went to have McD at Mega and ate McDeluxe until I feel like vomiting. I peel off the skin of Deluxe chicken. Not because I am scared of getting fat but I really feel disgusting eating it. And until I got home, I still have that chicken smell on my body and fingers although I wash them. I said I am not going to try them anymore. Sixthly, because of outing, I did not study for my End-year. I am dead! :( However, I also had some good news. Firstly, I found out that CK is getting cuter and cuter. He is really cute especially when he smiles. The way he talks actually convince me very very much. Although most of the time, I don't talk to him, I only smile to him. -- He already have girlfriend la.--I think that girl must be very lucky. CK is the most meticulous guy I have ever met. It is hard not to be attracted. He has a very good taste. Very good at choosing frames and his Bonia leather shoes. Beautiful! He is very selfless and caring. So sincere in every action. He don't sell spectacles to you because he merely wants your money. He also hopes he can help you as well as his business. He runs a consultant strategy. I am very confident in him. I have no worries letting him to manage my spectacle and choose my lens. Anyway, Mango asked me to take Carl Zeiss which is quite expensive. RM 400 minimum but luckily I have low power. Secondly, I spotted a Levi's lens RM 398 which is so pretty, my dear! My mum said so too. But the frame I wearing now is only 8 months. And their Marc Jacobs is extremely BEAUTIFUL!!! Only RM540. Super dai la. Maybe I will think about it. Hahahahahhahahah. I went to Toyota showroom and check out RUSH. My mum planned to say goodbye to my ATOS and welcome RUSH. Very adorable eight-seated MPV that cost RM85,000-RM95,000++. My brother said take the RM95,000 one la. A little bit difference only what. I was like you so rich ar? My mum was like I don't want to buy already. Sad :(. Hope she reconsider. Anyway, if you are also a specky, I encouraged you to go PROEYES STUDIO or A LOOK at ECM and Megamall. They sell you their knowledge and information you need to know. Spectacles that suit you is the bonus they give you. Contact CK TAN even at 12am. He said he is on call 24/7 especially girls are very welcome. I will tell his gf. Mwahahahahahahahhahahahah.

BLAH!!!!!! =.=" A MOODLESS DAY!!

UN-ABILITY

I just ate 6 prawns and i am waiting for the akibat. Maybe will only get at night. Will get ready my hydrocortisone. Now already start a bit. After being a multi-tasker so long I finally can rest now. I feel super tired every day and sleep at 10pm. How nice.

Last time I want to sleep but can't. Need to finish alot of extra work which I am not suppose to do but i do out of kindness. Including programmes proposal, designs for friends, clubs, organisations and school, designed a birthday sign board for Yi Xian but she forgot to brought it, i thought it was super nice but did not take a photo, training people not of my account, conducting programmes out of my area of responsibilities, being pulled by teachers to join their skuads or societies and promising me President position and telling me how can I outshine in their society and how they need my help. I pity for all but I have only 1 body. They say I can be in as much societies as I want. As long as I only hold 1 positions. Well, it is not so fair for me I say. They just want me to help them. That's all. They need not to promise me anything. What's more the President position. They need not to tell me how I will outshine. But I will outshine by my very own personality. Not by attention from all. I was the representative for Pahang Pelajar Terbaik Koko 2008 but i cannot promise you my always victory. I've already chosen my way and I know what's best for me. I do the best for myself. Always.

Now that my eyes are having a little bit problem and I need to go for a check-up next Saturday, nose having problem all the time, skin comes together with nose and migrain from eyes, I can't take on so many 'jobs' anymore.

For the coming days I will walk my steps courteously for I can't see the long misty road in front. Listening to Yiruma singing and piano. Super nice.

Anyway,

Hope you will like it.

RESTLESS CEASELESS STRESSFUL

Now that Dr. Hew's daughter is married, i wonder when it is Erwin's turn. Lol. He quite old already le.

Just finished LDP with Lab Attendants and Hari Koko. Got Lencana penuh this year. Ok liao la i think. But my koko teacher and bc teacher nagged me for this. They are making sure that i will go into national level next year and give me lencana biru. It is not my fault actually this year. It is the goverment's fault. They didn't send me letter. Or i will be in Port Dickson enjoying FOC la. SABS also didn't get the letter. Sad case. Last year was at Kuantan, that's why i don't get to jalan-jalan FOC last year. Lol.

However, i plan not to join anything next year. Anything at all. I very scared liao. I super busy and stress and find the wrong place and moment to release stress not long ago. It is not that i want to be involved in anyhing. It is the function involve me always. So not fair. Why me?

Every time having small small function, i have to multi task, having alot things to do at once. What they think i am?

I am just an ordinary good student who want to finish her secondary life happily. See what i have become. A robot. Totally. Too many responsibilities. Too many sleepless nights. Too many thoughts. Too many dilemma. Too much patience. Too much stress. Too little time. Too little rest. Too little smile. Too little joy. Too little MYSELF!

I hope they can just let me go and let me live my life happily and freely.

Actually i don't have much tuition. Just 4. Saturday Sunday and Wednesday totally free. No house chores to do. Indeed i don't do. But too many brain-cracking activities that break me down.

HELP ME!!!

Don't come to my aid. I just need a little bit of time. Stress give me STRENGTH to carry on.

Sameah Again

Sameah     : Ok. Minggu depan hantar nota Bab 10.

Kanchana : Cikgu, nota satu bab saya hilang.

Sameah     : Hilang, hilanglah. Nak buat macam mana kan.

Kanchana : Boleh fotostat ke?

Sameah     : Tak boleh!!

Kanchana : Habis tu nak buat macam mana?

Sameah     : Ok. Kelas!! Benda hilang nak buat macam mana?

All             : Salin....

Sameah      : Eh. Bukan!!! Report la polis!!!!!

=.=" speechless....!?!!

Sameah      : Fotostat.... (sambil lewa de say)

Kanchana  : Ambil dari kawan la kan?

Sameah      : Eh. Bukan!! 

...waiting for answer...

Sameah      : Mestilah jumpa dengan polis. Benda yang hilang tu ada pada polis kan?

*$#@*&!* wtf !!

SAMEAH The HIAO

We were filling up the blah 001 card that day.

We have to fill in a part to determine your field of minat A or B.

I forgot to feel in so our beloved Sameah ask me to fill in.

This is our conversation:

" ini kena isi."

"ok, cikgu, no prob. makan kacang ar."

"cepat, isi saja."

"tahu. saya isi semua A saja ma. senang betul."

" Semua A? Perasan!! Pergi, pergi!"

" nah, cikgu. Siap. Saya boleh isi tahun depan punya juga. Nak?"

" Eh. Tak payah. Tahun depan baru cakap la!!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Penny and i went lepak at the staffroom to skip English. Lol.

We were crapping with Sik Z.G until Sameah came in.

Sa:" Eh. kenapa tempat saya macam ini?" 

Ni:" Oh. Chelsea, Shammie, kristyl dan feli ambil kad koko.

 Sa:" nasib baik weini cakap. nanti hilang cikgu bagi 0 markah ."

(heard that 4 fellows?)

Then Mala ordered me go take things for her. =.=" thank you very much tan pen nee. mala thought i very free lepak in staffroom but actually surya tarik me in 1.

When i came back, Penny holding a dicitonary.

Rupa-rupanya Sameah want to write her Chinese name. Lol.

Then we were running through the words.

Ni:"  放 莎 美 雅 la.

Pen:"  莎  蜜 阿 la.

 Ni:"  要 么？

Pen:" Cikgu kamu nak  莎 美 雅 atau  莎  蜜 阿?"

 Sameah:" Yang pertama.

Ni and Pen:" ok ok.

Pen:" walau.  放 密 糖 的 蜜. 

Ni:"  跟 他 讲la

Pen:" cikgu cikgu  蜜 means sweet ar

Sameah :" Sweet? oooo. Bagus Bagus. (hand on the cheeks)- Blek!!!

Ni:"  跟 他 讲 美 是 cantik.  他 开 心 死ar.

Pen:" cikgu cikgu.  美 ialah cantik o. Nak mana satu?

Sameah:" Cantik!!!! nak cantik nak cantik!!!

Ni and Pen:" OKOK!!! Lol.

Penny wrote the  莎 美 雅 then i rewrite because Penny writing is.......xD.

Ni and Pen:" cikgu  雅 ialah elegant ar!!!!

Sameah :" BEtulkah?? Bagus !! BAGUS!!! Cikgu nak tiru dan tulis besar-besar!!!

Pen:" cikgu kamu panggil sik zg panggil kamu  莎 美 雅 la.

Sameah:" (laugh vy hiao-ly) tak nak. nanti dia ketawakan cikgu.

WTF la. My teacher. But she vy nice la . lol

I think Yong nowadays also going crazier and crazier in our class dy lo.

Anyway To 4A Chinese next week Pn yong tak ada tuition krn dia ada PPSMI meeting

Super HULK and SHREK

Ok.It is the background. I left the centre blank because i plan to cover it up with something.

Well.

It looks dull but i think it shows art talent actually with the organising of the green and white totally contra colour but not too heavy. It shows a change of light intensity of an object actually if you are good enough to see the pattern of the toning effect lines.

Well.

It is so weini style if you are familiar with my style. Hope Cathy and Malry like it.

Now. This is padding. The school badge shape landscape.

Obviously the landscape in the school badge is the protagonist but it is so my style. Therefore, my background always catch your sight first.

My photosmart very lousy one ma. So i can't edit the landscape and crop it in using computer la. And obviously my stupid desktop is not that state-of-the-art for design yet la. Ok. Although i dreamt to have a laptop specially with all the most sophisticated design software.

So as an alternative way, i printed it out with my equally sucks HP printer. I know jia wen will too come to my point because we have exactly the same model. Her one lagi cham lo, everytime on saja, auto print satu test page, bazir ink gila. Colour somemore.


What I meant is when i printing it halfway, short of ink then became green. Yay. Because I only refill green ink. =.=".....!!!! Very stupid me. Because the red ink is all stained onto my hand and table. And the yellow one is all in the sink then deep down into the drain outside my house because of my sister. Thank you very much. Standing ovation and round applause.

Ok. Continue. Then I cut it out and rescan lo. Since my background damn green and HP damn smart so i just plan to love the Earth more. Since i am already a nature lover and a big fan of greenery. Praise me, everybody and i will love you more.

Ok. Sorry. Continue. i know. Then i need to put header also in this damn week.

I think this green Hulk or Shrek thing or whatever it is called is better than this

This looks younger, more energetic, more vibrant but actually no real deal.

Catherine said she seriously like the green thing. Lol. Ok. Thanks. I bought her a bright blood red watch. She was abit thrilled.

Sham said that the green thing look artistic with the pattern of the lines. I agree. Lol.

Most importantly my boss, Ju must like it also.

I am looking forward to the RM 100 reward but if they can't afford it is ok. Because I just told Jie Yin that i am kind, friendly, sweet and beautiful young lady that don't scold people. What's more  讲 数 . Lol. I can't possible tear that beautiful face away right at the minute right.

However showing off abit. I am still abit proud of the MALBORO sign i designed. Lol. It is nice, high class, elegant, yeng, cool and man. Praise again please. It is a must this time.

Bye everybody. Guess what. Evil Devil CWX chase me to go sleep with my very SWEET dream which i now hate that protagonist in the dream. Ooops. i don't hate, but a little dislike. Sweet and beautiful young girl don't give way to hatred.

The nocturnal is sleeping at night. Very funny.

Don't try me!! CWX.

A Weird Angmo

I got offended by an ang mo today at McD.

I was offended out of my kindness. =.=",,,,

There was an ang mo queueing up buying food.

Then he got it went to take ketchup.

He suddenly came and ask the waitress where is the ketchup.

The waitress pointed at the sauce shelf thing.

He  went there again and search.

He was staring at me and shook his hand.

Out of kindness, i went over and help him.

He said he wanted ketchup.

So i let him know that the 'pipe' beside chilli sauce was ketchup.

Then he suddenly said:

" There is nothing i can use!!!!"

"You want me to take it with my hands?"

And the waiter appear beside me with a bagful of sauce plate.

I walked away without looking at him AT ALL.

WTF!!!!

Can't he be a little more polite.

Come on. I am just a super ordinary beautiful innocent girl

who wanna has her dinner at McD.

I am not someone that you can consult, inquire or offend!!!!

You can just tell me there is nothing to put the sauce.

That's all. So damn simple!!! Yet he failed to do it.

Obviously it was his fault la.

He said he wanted ketchup.

But he didn't say that he can't have that ketchup

because he can't find a suitable container.

Dumb ass betul. WTF!!!

Don't eat la. Stupid!!!

Balik kampung la you!!

My spy on somebody isn't telling me something

and i am diligently digging the something from her.

Then she said since i so cute 

then i have credit and she will tell me

and give me a hell of a shock of my life.

Thanks once again my secret breaker!!

I just visited Teng's blog and saw LEE's link.

So i go and read all the LEEs that Teng link

but find none of the LEE i finding.

You know why, don't you?

Moment to Share

I just started to think about state comp next year.

Jun is worried worried about that.

Because we are all alone next year without our buddies with us.

However, I think if we do our best we get the best we deserve.

At least Jun is with me and i am with her. All the time.

I did not regret for whatever I sacrificed for state comp and will not.

May the best man win.

I still remember the moment we had together last year. Kinda fun actually.

For the district level, we got Champion and Jie Yin and I cried like hell.

For the state level in Bentong, I was forbidden to eat the sambal with my prawn noodles.

We got Champion but felt nothing.

Because the panel actually signalled everybody on stage about us.

So prouf of us.

For the national level in Kedah, we had blanket fight at Hotel Sri Malaysia.

We did really good for the quarter final and got into the final.

Lim Shi Jie said she almost cried when she heard our recital.

Again, proud of us.

I was again forbidden to eat the tomyam at the Thai restaurant.

I remembered that night was the Thomas Cup final - Lin Dan VS. Lee Chong Wei.

I was so influenced by his loss that night.

I was really hoping him to win to smash* that stupid Lin Dan right in his square face!!

Next morning it was the final and we did great. ( for me i think )

We were so into it until we actually let tears rolling in the eyes 

when we were reciting our very poem.

But the result was otherwise making us really cry.

I didn't want to believe that we only got 4th when the emcee said PAHANG out loud.

Tears were rolling down my cheeks 

when the emcee finally confirm that we were only at 4th placing.

I cried when receiving the trophy

and when snapping winners photo.

We went back to our hotel and I cried hell lot.

We were hoping to be in top 3.

Then we headed to the Hainan Lao Kopitiam downstairs to have 1st round lunch.

I shared tomyam with Jun.

Then 2nd round lunch at Tesco Pizza Hut,

Their pizza is hell lot tastier than ours.

Ours taste sucks. :(

And then we came to Kuantan boarding a 9 hours journey.

And guess what Yeo Jie Yin did.

She shouted :" 肥 婆!!!" and we all ducked so low that we were not seen anywhere.

Afzan fellows know why. Lol.

And I am so proud of

TAN PEN NEE, YEON WEI NI, YEO JIE YIN and  SOH YU JUN

!!!!!!!

Anyway, Penny is leaving us for Duqhan petroleum prince next year.

We can't meet her for at least a good 10 years.

I am so gonna miss her Oscar-worth acting skills.

Everybody knows that. Lol.

I am looking forward to seeing she brings back an Arabian petroleum prince.

Gambatte, Penny, I know you can do it!!

Our life is full of parting.

And LimJiaWen saying bye is just the beginning of it.

We pick up and learn

let go and cherish.