此刻 44 (继续盗用)

Until now, I can just say that I am super busy. I think I am like a superwoman. Need to divide myself into a hundred pieces to multitask. I feel quite bored for this kind of life. But somehow, I try to imagine that I am like Jay, busy but contented. This makes me feel better and be more energetic to complete my tasks. I don't understand why the school is giving us, the innocent prefects more and more ineffective programme. It is wasting our time as well as the administrators' time. I only have a pair of hands and a knuckle-small brain. I cannot do more than...say 3 things at a time. I only have a brain divided into 2 parts, 1 for logical thinking, another for creativity. If I were using both parts of my brain at once, I believe that I might mess things up as 1 part of my brain doesn't work logically. Similar to my hands, the right hand writes beautiful, artistic pieces while the left, produces deformed, crooked writing. And what's more, I do not really like the others to question me when I ask them for help, mainly it is supposed to be their job, I am just reminding and dividing the jobs. So, I often end up doing the things on my own because I would not want to answer their questions. Furthermore, I would not care if you were my best friend or not, when it comes to work, I treat everybody the same. I would not care if the teachers were fond of me and I would not try to make them happy. I do not like to pretend that I like all my friends and I will not hesitate to warn them if they did wrong as long as I am their leader. I do not like to listen to gossips, whether about other people or me. I do not like people to go against the rules that I set as long as I am their leader. I do not like people to not take what I said seriously. I do not like people to bribe me or make me happy because I already knew what I should know. I do not like people to bls around me and I esp hate them shouting my name from far as if the coverage is not clear. I do not like people to get hurt a bit and make believe that they get hurt really badly and make me worry and loss confident as a first-aider. I do not like people to strut and fret about your pride that does not fruit from your hard work although life is a drama. You do not need to be over-dramatic. I do not like people to question my ability. I would not let others to cut my line neither to be better than me. I am confused. I am not sure how to become a good leader. I am not sure how to become successful. I am not sure if you are sincere. I am not sure how to be happy. I am not sure what to select. I am not sure how to get up from the falls. I am not sure where is the junction ahead. That is why I am throwing all my worries away for this moment to talk to myself. I need strength to pull through. Goodnight, Jay, my love. You will always be my shoulder to lean against.